A path from disconnection back to closeness — guided by the science of attachment
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one of the most extensively researched approaches to couple and family therapy. It is grounded in attachment science — the understanding that human beings are wired for close, secure emotional bonds, and that much of our distress comes from feeling disconnected from the people who matter most.
When couples argue about chores, money, or parenting, the surface topic is rarely the real issue. Underneath, each partner is often asking a deeper question: “Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Can I count on you?” EFT helps partners hear these questions — and learn to answer them.
Rather than teaching communication "techniques", EFT works at the level of emotion: slowing down the negative cycle a couple gets stuck in, making sense of the feelings that drive it, and creating new moments of openness and responsiveness that rebuild trust and closeness.
Most distressed couples are caught in a repeating pattern: one partner protests the disconnection (which can look like criticism or anger), and the other protects themselves (which can look like defensiveness or shutting down). Each person's reaction triggers the other, and the cycle spins faster.
In EFT, the first shift is learning to see this cycle — not each other — as the problem. When both partners can say “the cycle has us again”, they stop fighting each other and start fighting it, together.
EFT typically moves through three stages, at a pace that respects where you are.
Stage One
Together we map the negative cycle — the triggers, reactions, and the softer emotions hiding underneath. Arguments lose their heat as the pattern becomes visible and shared.
Stage Two
Each partner learns to reach for the other from a more open, vulnerable place — and to respond with care. These new moments of connection are the heart of EFT.
Stage Three
The new patterns are strengthened and applied to old problems. Couples leave with a felt sense of security — and a way back to each other when life gets hard.
While best known as a couples therapy, EFT is also practiced with individuals and families.
EFT
For couples feeling distant, stuck in repeated arguments, recovering from a breach of trust, or simply wanting a deeper, more secure connection.
EFIT
Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy supports anxiety, depression, and old attachment wounds — helping you build a kinder, more secure relationship with yourself.
EFFT
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy helps parents and children repair disconnection and rebuild the felt security of family bonds.
EFT sessions are gentle and collaborative. My role is not to referee or assign blame, but to slow things down so that what is really happening between you — and within you — can be seen and understood.
You will never be pushed to share more than you are ready to. Many clients are surprised to find that, even in the first few sessions, conversations that used to explode begin to soften.
“We are never so vulnerable as when we love — and never so safe as when we know we are loved.”
You are welcome to book a free 20-minute consultation to share what's been going on and explore whether this approach fits your needs.
Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation